I don’t know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Phillippines around the year 1850. Your profession was that of a medic, surgeon or herbalist.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life: Ruthless character, carefully weighing his decisions in critical situations, with excellent self-control and strong will. Such people are generally liked, but not always loved.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation: Your lesson is to combat violence and disharmony in our world, to understand its roots and origins. All global problems have similar origins.
Hello to all my newest followers since my last post on tumblr about a month ago. I was told by one of my followers that I need to get back on tumblr, in which I do, I have just been too busy to have any real enjoyable downtime without my consciousness nagging me about something else gone wrong in my life…
Anyway, to update everyone, that is me as of 30 weeks on T (yesterday), and I am almost finished with my first vial of T. I have had the opportunity to get my bloodwork done (finally) and soon will be able to schedule an appointment with my doctor to get my second vial and an adjustment on my hormone therapy. As of today, I pass really well almost anywhere, phone, face to face, everything, and it is occurring alot faster than I had anticipated, but I am enjoying it nonetheless lol. I have been letting my facial hair grow, its mainly accumulating on my chin, sideburns, and cheeks, no mustache yet. I have been getting acne like I was 13 again, except worse because I never recalled myself itching my face lol, but it is probably my second job that is making me do that too, dirty hands on face is a no bueno folks… I noticed that I sweat ALOT more, especially from my face, my stomach/chest, shit, just EVERYWHERE lol. and overall… I just look like a little boy! I have put in for my name change, but my hearing isn’t until October, and I was able to start therapy again too.
I am experiencing more bouts of dysphoria when it comes to passing more. Ive felt the need to pack more often, bind more often, and frankly my binder is quite uncomfortable… so good thing I have small chest and im alil chubby, just looks like I have moobs (man boobs) -__- … I also feel more challenged to be a “man” in so many cases, especially emotionally… I guess I can’t be an overly emotional guy when it comes to someone causing me emotional pain or anything. I would say that alot of my emotional mood swings have died down, in the category of crying and moping around, but… I did get very angry, especially when I catch myself backtracking my mind to everything that has occurred within the past year. I even had to break up with my significant other because of my anger issues, alot of them stemming from my bouts and experience with her, on top of feelings from everywhere else. I knew it was a matter of time in which I would reach my breaking point and I am right now going at a slow decent down to square one.
I know when it comes to matters of the heart, I am avoiding it at all costs for my own good. I can’t trust anyone, can’t break my pride down to depend on anyone, can’t even involve myself with someone sexually…well I can always throw on my strap and do the do lol, but I guess that intimacy that I experience with my now ex, I cant see myself replicating that until I have had top surgery, some form of a good prosthetic, and have the body of a God… not really, but my heart is rather unemotional, I couldn’t even cry because I lost her, and trust me, I do miss her alot, and wish I could have changed my actions but…